The Real Work of Building a Life You Don’t Want to Escape From
- bechine0
- Oct 17
- 2 min read
My life looked “fine” on paper.
I had the house, the relationship, the kids, the things I thought would make me happy. But inside, I was running - running from the past, from myself, from the gnawing feeling that safety and peace were always just out of reach.
And here’s what I know, after doing my own work and guiding many women through theirs:
Building a life you don’t want to escape from isn’t about having the perfect house, partner, or job. It’s about untangling the old programming that keeps you stuck in survival mode, even when life is supposed to be good.
Why “Good on Paper” Doesn’t Feel Good in Reality
If you grew up in a toxic or narcissistic home, your body learned early that love is conditional and safety is temporary. That wiring doesn’t disappear just because you grow up or find a healthy relationship.
It shows up as:
Scanning every room for danger, even in your own home.
Overthinking every word you say to keep the peace.
Feeling numb or restless even when nothing’s wrong.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop because it always did before.
No holiday, new house, or relationship milestone can fix what’s running on autopilot inside your nervous system. I know because I tried EVERY escape route imaginable - only to find the same old fear waiting for me on the other side.
The Hard Truth About “Doing the Work”
The real work isn’t pretty or Instagrammable. It’s not just journaling and bubble baths.
It’s sitting with the pain you’ve buried for years.
It’s facing the grief of what you never got, the anger you weren’t allowed to feel, the patterns you swore you’d never repeat but somehow still do.
It’s letting someone safe - sometimes for the first time in your life - help you pull those patterns out at the root so you can stop living on edge.
For me, that work changed everything. Once my body knew what safe love felt like, I stopped needing to escape my life because it finally felt like mine.
What I Want You to Know
You don’t have to burn your life down to feel free. You don’t have to keep pushing, numbing, overthinking, or chasing some future moment where everything feels okay.
The real work of healing gives you that feeling now.
Calm, connection, clarity - they’re not far-off dreams. They’re the result of rewiring the survival responses you didn’t choose, so you can finally breathe in your own home, your own relationship, your own life.
I know because I’ve lived on both sides of that line - the one where you’re just surviving and the one where you finally feel safe.
And if you’re done running, I can help you cross it too.
Comments